Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
