The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
