My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
