doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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