Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
