ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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