So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
