you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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