im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
