but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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