Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
