Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize