i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
