In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
