I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
50% drunk capacity currently
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
