he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
