the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
