11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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