she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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