I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
