WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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