There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
