you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
