No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
