You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My cat gives me a boner
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
