She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
