that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
