The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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