so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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