Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
