yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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