I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
