Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize