matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
