Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
