New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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