i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Small penises have feelings too.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
