she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
