you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
