i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Is it penis luge time yet?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
