went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
