God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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