Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
