When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
