Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
