I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize