Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
operation have a gay friend backfired
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
