You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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