i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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