i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
