If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize