just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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