I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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