I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
