so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
