I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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