My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize