he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
