After last night, I could never be a politician.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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