I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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