I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need water and some morals
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
