So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
