Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just pee around me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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