You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
