SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
