I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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