white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
