My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
