You're my little dorito
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All the doctor said was why
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
