Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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