she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
