so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
