No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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