dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
