Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i believe in u and ur pee
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
