i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
