Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I will be naked everywhere
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
