Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
