just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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