Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
