Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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