she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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