how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
