I am in a vortex of obligation.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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